By Meg Faure
It’s the one life stage that no one really prepares you for. It’s not that there is a paucity of information on pregnancy niggles, birth options and birth stories. But in truth, none of it prepares you adequately for motherhood.
The real journey to motherhood involves intangibles that create a conflict within you: Each day will present the tussle of wanting to hold, love and meet your baby’s every need with the opposing tug of needing to be a woman and knowing that you are ultimately preparing your baby to be independent too. You yearn for this space at times and then at other times, just wish to be there 100% – part of the precious unit of you and your baby!
In Pregnancy Sense, we look at not only the critical physical aspect of becoming a mom – pregnancy and birth but to also address this dichotomy:
“Your baby began her life as part of you, an egg that you have carried for 30 years until the moment of conception. In that moment, a new person, an independent soul begins to form. And with that begins the paradox of motherhood.
A part of you that has been 100% dependent and within you has to become independent, separate and exist apart from you. And it is your role to facilitate this transition from dependence to independence. It is a “push-pull dance of connection and separation, independence and dependence”1 – this dance will preoccupy every day of motherhood – the overwhelming feeling to hold and contain and protect your baby will be challenged by the knowledge that each day you will and must facilitate her independence and separation from you.
That first separation, the first enormous transition from dependence to independence happens with birth. For 9 months there is no separation and there is full dependence and in the moment of the umbilical cord cutting you enter a journey towards being separate. You will be overcome and bereft in the same moment as elated and filed with joy. This is birth.”
Excerpt from Pregnancy Sense
1 Ann Pleshette Murphy – The Seven Stages of Motherhood